It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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