she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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