Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
