Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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