New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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