You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
