The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
