your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
