Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
