remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
