Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
