Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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