We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
