the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
