That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize