Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
