Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
sex in a hospital.. check
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
