Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
