I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
there is glitter all over my balls
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