Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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