It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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