5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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