I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
