How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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