I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
