i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you will always have a special place in my vag
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
