I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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