I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
