How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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