my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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