discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
