Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
