I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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