hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
