So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
