Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
