so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
