I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
