great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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