"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
