I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Too much gin, very little bucket
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize