Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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