Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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