Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
