I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
we're so committed to being not committed
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
