I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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