Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
