Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
