he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
