you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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