wrigley field is MILF paradise
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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