i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
