just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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