Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
