Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
