come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
