Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
