even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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