She went from zero to smokin in five shots
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do you have feelings for this penis?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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