I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
