ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
