Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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