i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just pynch a tree in the face
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
